


Being. Alone.

by HSavinien



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Family Loss, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Introspection, Loneliness, Self-Reflection, taz: graduation - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:33:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22931056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HSavinien/pseuds/HSavinien
Summary: The Fir Bolg has lost his Clan. He has lost... everything.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	Being. Alone.

He has never been alone. Before. He has never been alone  _ before. _ He has been  _ by himself, _ in the forest, watching a tree occur or finding food or tending an animal. But he was not alone there. There was the Clan and he was a piece of it even by himself - part of a whole - and he had never considered a time when he would be apart from the Clan, because there was no  _ being _ apart from it, anymore than there was  _ being _ apart from his head. A fir bolg is not a person without a Clan.

Except he is now without a Clan and he must still be a person. 

The forest is different as he walks. This makes sense, because he is different. It sounds different, because his ears have never been ears for only himself before, with nobody to tell about the gossip from the wind and squirrels. It's terrifying. The animals are changed. The plants show him different colors. He is like a tree that is suddenly rootless. He wavers. His step may look firm, his hands appear sure, but everything inside drifts like mushroom spores blown far from their expected landing. 

The paths are new and, slowly, they become paths beyond where the Clan has ever been. He is coming to a somewhere that the Clan exists not, and yet he exists. 

He is still fir bolg. When the path meets a larger way, he sees other people and they identify him as such. Why would he doubt them? It is only on the inside that he has lost what he is. Is that the important part? 

He comes to the school, and they call him "Master Fir Bolg" and this is politeness, yes, but it is also a thing that they think is true. They are very clever. They work for a school. Surely they must know.

And so he calls himself fir bolg still. And he will try to make a new Clan of this place, and that is new, that is different, but so is he. So maybe it will work. Maybe. 


End file.
